On suffering, I felt like I’d heard it all inside and outside the church. Both were found lacking. We’ve forgotten true compassion (to come alongside and suffer with), and we’ve lost our capacity for long-suffering (alongside others and our own). When two of our girls were in a very traumatic 4-wheeler accident, resulting in an 8-year string of reconstructive surgeries, battling depression, suicide, and false guilt, I cried out to God: “If we have to go through this, I ...
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“Who” Do You Want to Become in 2023: “How” you become her/him may surprise you
ᴡʜᴏ ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴀɴᴛ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇᴄᴏᴍᴇ ɪɴ 2023? Hands on the wheel, eyes on the road in front of me, I’m moving torward what I hope is a beautiful destination. Yet I must constantly look back through the mirrors of the car to be guided safely forward. I’m holding on to something most people want to let go of heading into the new year: I’m holding on to the hard things that happened in 2022, but NOT to dwell in the past. 2022 is the year absolutely nothing went as I expected. I do not wear chronic ...
A Letter to My Daughter (Ashley’s Letter)
It is the birth day of our second child - our first daughter. Four and a half years ago, she was about to graduate from college with a degree in Religion for Pastoral Ministries with a youth-pastor focus, and with a co-youth pastor position already lined up. Her partner in ministry would be her partner in life - her waiting husband. A huge parenting shift was about to rock our world as she would become our first-to-be-married kid. Several transitions were soon to unfold as she walked bravely ...
LIVE Q & A with Ashley and Abby: Why Would Anyone Ever Want to Face Their Pain?
How do you respond to pain? That was the catalyst for my first Instagram Live a week ago. I’ve tried stuffing it, numbing it, escape, busyness, ignoring it, even servanthood. But many of these really only bring the temporary relief of flight. Not true healing. Pain tries to reframe our identity. But Jesus comes to frame it back right. He promises in Isaiah 61 to heal the broken-hearted. But how? Healing is intentional. We are rarely encouraged to face our pain, mostly ...
Beautiful Quotes You Love Now As Inspiring Wallpapers for Your Phone (Free to download!)
You shared what speaks to you, and I listened. These downloadable Wallpaper/Lock Screen images with quotes you love are created from various inspiring blogs, short stories, and Instagram posts I've written. Each category is set in a beautiful palette of complimentary colors to remind you daily of the Truth. Download your favorite from each section, or all of them to change up throughout the month! Tell me what else you'd like to see on your phone from the website (or Instagram). Share a line ...
You’ve Read Being Kind to Yourself Is Good, but What About Gentle?
Where do you need to be gentle with you? Is it in the daily chaos of kids crying, the dog barking, teenagers trying, long work days, laundry piling, parents aging, or simply in your expectations of you? Share in the comments below. Learning to be gentle alongside you, "He will not break a bruised reed or quench a smoldering wick until he brings justice to victory." (Matthew 12:20, NRSV) "Don't be afraid of missing out. You're my dearest friends! The Father wants to give you the very ...
When You Feel Frozen in Time
Have you ever felt frozen in time? That’s exactly how I feel as we round the corner toward the end of January. I’m sitting here for the umpteenth day propped on the chaise, surrounded by an assortment of creamy colored pillows and blankets of multiple textures, all to keep me comfy while I recover. Sepsis hit again. This time fierce and relentless. Half the time I’ve been “out of it” in the bed, the other half not coherent enough to trust myself writing. Never know what a gal might say when ...
Why Advent is Still Relevant in January
We didn’t always practice lingering. It’s a much-forgotten necessity in this world of marketing strategies that rush us on to the next promotion. Even the church gets caught in the push. But I believe Christmas is still here in the New Year. While the world capitalizes on resolutions, Advent is just as relevant in January as it is in December. On this Twelfth Day of Christmas, as I sit in the glow of golden hour approaching, I’m forcing my bent toward perfectionism to take a backseat for ...
How and Where Will You Find Christmas?
"Christmas cannot be bought in a store. Christmas cannot be created in the kitchen. Christmas cannot be made by hand, lit up, set out, dreamed up. Christmas can only be found - right there in the manger. Christmas can only be found in the feed trough, in the muck, in the stench of a barn, and in the unexpected - and only in the dawning light of Christ." ~ Ann Voskamp: Unwrapping the Greatest Gift: A Family Celebration of Christmas These words from our family devotion the other night ...
Where You Can Hide When It’s All Too Much This Christmas
Let Me be your hiding place. When it's all too much and you just want to run, run to Me. When you want it all to be over already, but it isn't, come to Me. When nothing is as you expected this season, seek Me. While others are singing "Have a holly, jolly Christmas," please know it's okay to not be okay. When all is dark instead of bright as the carols sing, hear this: I am familiar with the dark. I was born under the blanket of a dark sky. When Herod heard of My existence and sought ...
When You’re Feeling the Tension of the “Now” and the “Not Yet” This Christmas
It was the Monday after Thanksgiving. Though a week later than planned, finally the Christmas music was queued as giant tubs of green and red were pulled from storage. The nostalgia of song and decorations filled the rooms, weaving its way through the surround sound and out of bins until it perforated the fragile film around my heart. I danced while cleaning oil lamps to the tune of "Rocking Around the Christmas Tree." Laughed at memories of the kids over the years. Then cried when faced ...
What to Do When It Doesn’t Get Better or Easier
Walking around these walls I thought by now they'd fall But You have never failed me yet Waiting for change to come Knowing the battle's won For You have never failed me yet "Do It Again" by Elevation Worship 2016 You know that moment you hear a song and suddenly tears push their way up through a place you didn't know you were ignoring? I can't possibly ignore that my body is ill. It reminds me every second of every day. But what I have ignored lately is my feelings about it. Busying ...
How to Pull Over and Pause When Fear is Driving You into Worry and Anxiety (Part 3 in a series)
Underneath worry and anxiety is fear. They are connected. When a fear consumes us, it gives birth to worry and anxiety. From that point, it can control or paralyze us. Yes, I just repeated that in three consecutive posts. It is crucial to understand. You can read Post 1 if you missed it HERE. And you can read Post 2 if you missed it HERE. If we pause life for a minute, pull over the "car" and raise the hood on what worries or stresses us, we will likely find fear underneath. It drives us ...
How to Pray When You are Afraid, Worried, or Anxious (Part 2 in a series)
I worry. There. I said it. I confess I worry about my grown children. I worry about my grandchildren who are only four months old! (How much can one worry about babies? But I do, I worry for their future.) I honestly carry too many burdens of this world as well. To literally give them and my thoughts over to Jesus is harder than I’d like to admit. I find myself obsessing over things, especially in my longing for everyone and everything to be alright. The propensity of it to consume me ...
How to Respond to Fear, Worry, and Anxious Thoughts
Each of us experiences fear on some level at various times in our lives. It is common to everyone. There is debate over rational versus irrational fears, realistic versus unrealistic, healthy, relative, and primal fears. Certainly a google search will send your head spinning. (I don’t recommend it.) While many fears are born out of negative experiences, others seem to “just come to us.” Ranges & Examples of Fear: Fear of losing your job because you were late to work too many times, ...
Are Legacies Dead? How are You Leaving a Legacy? (Hint: you’re leaving one whether you realize it or not.)
“When I read it this morning, Mom, I didn’t realize how many tears I needed to cry about this day. I didn’t realize how badly I needed to revisit this event.” My oldest and only son, Drew, wrote that to me after reading our Family Story page on my website. Ten years after our family’s world came crashing down at dizzying speeds when two of our daughters, his sisters, were in a tragic 4-wheeler accident. He had to hold his baby sister whose face was severely crushed in his merely 16-year-old ...
A Letter to My Husband (& Children) on Our 25th Anniversary
If God intends the holy union of a man and a woman in marriage to be a symbol of redemption and re-creation, ours has certainly tested that intent to its fullest. There is no relationship more vulnerable, none that will require so much of us than that of marriage. To be joined with another, to choose to give of your beauty and strength time and time again, not always assured of the outcome, is one of the hardest things we can ever do. It will undoubtedly show us where we are broken. That's ...
Why We Cannot Forget the Past
Have you tried to forget your past? Did it work? Maybe you've dropped your head in despair wondering why you can't do this successfully because you wake up the next morning to find it is still there. Maybe you did let it go, but it boomeranged back. Or you find yourself stuck in the same habits, feelings, reactions, etc., even though you "let it go." I'll be the first to pause from the keyboard to raise my hand. I've been there. Can you count the number of times you've heard "leave the ...
How to Recognize Unfinished Grief and What to Do With It (even grief from losses other than death)
Like a shadow, unfinished grief will follow you. Sneaking up close, whether you realize it or not, it is there. Grief is for more than loss through death. Loss comes in many forms, each having its own unique impact. To grieve a loss is to acknowledge its importance in your life so you can contiue to live fully. It is not a state of dwelling on the past. Rather, it is embracing the pain of what was, or sadness of change, in order to embrace the joy of what is, or is to come. Know ...
What Might A Hug From God Look Like?
What might a hug from God look like? It was a hard, tender day. Albeit good. (Hard doesn’t always mean bad.) First, God woke me with couple songs that stirred the deeper things I’d been hiding from in my heart. Places I’ve been pushing away that need to be grieved so he can bless with his comfort. It also rustled up some of the dreams and longings I have for writing and art. From there, I wanted to ask what he had in mind for me ”to do” for the day. I was looking for something to produce. ...
When You Think You’ve Lost You
"I look to the hills! Where will I find help? It will come from the Lord, who created the heavens and the earth."Psalm 121:1-2 "There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love."1 John 4:18 "and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us."Romans 5:5 “Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to ...
Do the Words “Slow” and “Pace” Frustrate You or Calm You? How they hit me this hospital stay and much of this year.
The cheap, standard clock hung over the drab wallpaper across the room from my bed ticks on. I hear it. Tik. Tok. Day and night. Though it keeps the same time, no speeding, and no lapsing, the days here feel long and the nights even longer. Especially when sleep is nowhere near, due to treatment side effects. I found my way into the hospital last Thursday morning with this recent severe flare of illness. I have avoided it like the plague for a couple years now, having many ...
How Can it Be, That We Can Go From Light to Dark? And Who is God in That Moment?
Where have I mostly disappeared to the last several weeks?? Preparing for and then receiving these two amazing little grandbabies. Our first. I am now "Mia" to Josiah and Junia (prounounced JUNE-nee-uh). Here, my beautiful girl is absolutely glowing with anticipation of these two precious little ones quickly approaching their debut a month ago. Her loving husband right alongside her. Words to describe the holiness of this moment escape me. We waited. We prayed. We watched. We ...
Isn’t She Lovely? A Glimpse of Eternity Through our Daughter’s Wedding
Queue Music... Isn’t she lovely? Isn’t she wonderful? Isn’t she precious? Less than one minute old I never thought through love we’d be Making one as lovely as she But isn’t she lovely made from love? Isn’t she pretty? Truly the angel’s best Boy, I’m so happy We have been heaven blessed I can’t believe what God has done Through us He’s given life to one But isn’t she lovely made from love? (Song: “Isn’t She Lovely” [acoustic] Callum J. Wright; words by Stevie Wonder, written about his ...
A Letter to My Daughter (Emily’s Letter)
It is the eve of our third child's - our second daughter's - wedding day. Last weekend, she graduated from college with a degree in Mathmematics and Education, with a high school teaching position already lined up. Tomorrow night, only six days later, under dim lights with a glowing crowd, we will give her to her waiting husband. Another parenting shift will rock our world, while she walks bravely into her new life apart from ours. I have written a keepsake letter to mark this milestone and ...
Melissa. Daughter of God. Lover of Jesus. Wife to Andy. Mama to four fun-loving adult children, and two bonus sons. And now, Mia to TWINS. Embracer of brave. Why? Because in every doubt, in every broken cry, God is making me whole again. Join me?
