“Christmas cannot be bought in a store. Christmas cannot be created in the kitchen. Christmas cannot be made by hand, lit up, set out, dreamed up. Christmas can only be found – right there in the manger.
Christmas can only be found in the feed trough, in the muck, in the stench of a barn, and in the unexpected – and only in the dawning light of Christ.”
~ Ann Voskamp: Unwrapping the Greatest Gift: A Family Celebration of Christmas
These words from our family devotion the other night still ring in my ears as they make their way down into my heart. Waking me up once again to what I and my family really need this Christmas. What we all need any Christmas or any day.
Naughty or Nice?
I have shopped and I have baked, I have decorated and I have made. I have written multiple lists that keep getting longer instead of shorter. And, yes, they have been checked twice – times a hundred. Not the naughty or nice list, but in my quest to be nice I may have been “naughty” this Christmas. Allow me to explain.
The last several years I say something like, “I want to enjoy this Christmas more.” Somehow, it all ends up with me in a heap of exhaustion, or worse. That is not being “nice” to myself or others.
Decorating is a specialty of mine. Like art, there’s so much to color and light the rooms with. Executing everyone’s favorite dishes, from-scratch breakfasts and seasonal sweets is also another forte. Giving the gifts our family wants, plus a few creative surprises, is a joy. You probably have your niches this time of year, too.
But if we’re honest, it’s all a LOT of hard, time-consuming work.
My grandparents did it for 30-ish of us! Yet the kid in me never understood what it was really like for them. Growing up, I thought that’s what made Christmas feel like Christmas.
Two generations later as I repeat the cycle, Andy and the “kids” watch Christmas movies and play games while I miss most of it in the kitchen. Though my heart is always full listening to their conversations, there is a sadness for not being in the middle of every belly laugh.
In the beginning of this December, I say it to my husband again:
“I want to enjoy this Christmas more.”
I want simplicity. A slower pace. Room to breathe. I want to bend down low to the manger where Jesus lay, and experience Him bending down low to me. Be close enough to hear Him breathe. Pause long enough to hear His heartbeat until mine beats in rhythm with His. Give room for the unexpected, the surprise gifts that don’t come wrapped in matchy paper under the tree – the lasting kind that I don’t realize I need until He gives them. The ones found in Christ, who turns our muck into something beautiful and exchanges our stench for His sweet aroma.
I want to actually watch a Christmas movie in its entirety on the sofa, sandwiched between my hubby and our six adult children (the ones I birthed and the ones who married in), complete with popcorn and hot cocoa. Maybe even before they all come home, just because! I’d love to take a walk, breathe in the fresh air. Lounge in patterned pj’s.
So how is it going these first two weeks? I confess. Not so good. Family isn’t here yet and I’ve already knocked myself out trying to prepare for their arrival. There have been days I have lingered long with Jesus, but even then, I feel like I’m falling behind on everything else when I do. Before Andy and I read the devotion citing what Christmas is not, a subtle lie crept in: Oh well, it is what it is at this point. Might as well keep going.
But those growing lists of all the things I think make Christmas are only adding needless stress. And now that my grandparents see with heaven eyes, I believe they see differently. Clearer. I think they’d say, “Stop. Let some things go.”
When it comes down to it, my children would rather have my presence than even my food. (Okay, maybe not when it comes to Granny’s mac n’ cheese!)
It’s not too late.
It is never too late to change course. I enlisted my three daughters, who each inherited their share of culinary talents, to choose a dish to make. Today, I’m heeding Holy Spirit’s whisper to let more of the food go. Every dish doesn’t have to be from scratch! Y’all can hold me accountable: the only homemade items in addition to Christmas Day will be a few breakfast muffins and Jesus’ birthday cake for Christmas Eve (speaking of, come back next week for our favorite family tradition!). And those lists, things are being X-ed out that truly aren’t necessary.
More important than even those things, I laid down my agendas. The baby Jesus we celebrate became the man Jesus who prayed we would be made one with Him, just as He is one with the Father. Not partially, but completely, perfectly one. (John 17:24) So I asked that He restore my union with Him. To help me hear His thoughts on how I can spend each of the rest of my days this season. There, will I find Christmas. You can, too.
What will you change between now and the end of December? How will it affect you and your family or friendships? Share in the comments that we may encourage one another.
Share to:
Melissa. Daughter of God. Lover of Jesus. Wife to Andy. Mama to four fun-loving adult children, and two bonus sons. And now, Mia to TWINS. Embracer of brave. Why? Because in every doubt, in every broken cry, God is making me whole again. Join me?
I buy gifts all year long and since I have to Mai, 2 boxes out, I wrap the gifts and mail them. Then I wrap the gifts for the kids here any time before the holiday. I don’t bake cookies any more either,
My Granny would buy gifts all year long! I usually begin late summer.